


1999

by caprigender



Series: See you next doomsday [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, anal penetration, bar hookups, what more could you possibly ask for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 20:37:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20895761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caprigender/pseuds/caprigender
Summary: Leo meets a strange man at a bar on the eve of y2k and the night gets steamy.





	1999

The radio in the bar croaked a classic rock tune that made him feel sourly nostalgic. When a place like this played music from your twenties you were past your prime. When it played music from your thirties you were officially washed up. Leo knew he didn’t look like he was pushing fifty, but he was and with the new millennium just around the corner he was feeling his age. Like tonight, he had gone out for New Year’s Eve and all he could think of was driving back home and going to bed early.

It wasn’t even six yet and the crowd was getting to be too much for him. People sitting at tables and standing around dart boards. People drinking and people eating chicken wings with barbecue sauce. People chattering about the weather and about sports teams and about the inevitable computer malfunctions that were going to end the world in a few short hours. They pressed in around him. A group of blue and gold covered students shouted to each other on his left, slowly pushing him towards the man on his right who was watching the muted news reports from behind red sunglasses.

“You think any of that will actually happen?” The stranger asked and Leo guessed the man was probably talking to him.

Leo glanced up at the screen. The news anchors debated excitedly in complete silence. Y2K, could it be the end of life as we know it? The worry seemed to be about computerized dating systems being unequipped to cope with the sequence of 98, 99, 00. Or it was something like that. Leo had never been much of a computer guy. He wondered if computer disasters were covered by his prophecy dreams. Realistically, he had no way of knowing for sure. Maybe the world would end that night as soon as the clock struck 12 and he'd never have seen it coming. Still… He shook his head. “Nah. Nah, I don’t think this is it.”

The stranger smiled, an odd little quirk of his mouth that seemed out of place on the rest of his face. “You sound confident. Mind telling me your secret?”

Leo shrugged and returned a weary smile at the man. “Just a hunch, that’s all. Don’t take it too seriously.”

“Too late,” the stranger cooed, “I’m already considering asking you for lottery numbers.” Leo let out a short laugh at the joke. He took a moment to really look at the stranger for the first time. There was something familiar about his gaunt frame and the way his skin stretched around the bones of his face. He wasn’t a handsome man. He certainly wasn’t Leo’s usual type, but there was something he recognized in that face and he could not tell what it was. “You want to hear my prediction?” The man asked and Leo nodded. “It is very unlikely that something will go wrong. The chances of this doomsday scenario coming to pass are minimal. But there is still a chance. So I decided to spend what might be my last night on earth getting drunk and having a good time.” He held out his drink. Cheers. Leo met it with his own, but there was something unsettling about the confidence in the man’s voice as he casually discussed the end of the world.

Leo shook off his apprehension and offered the man a smile. “Well, here’s to the low probabilities of the apocalypse.”

“And here’s to hoping that it’ll stay low for a good long while,” the stranger responded. Leo drained his glass and motioned to the bartender for a refill. “Put it on my tab,” the stranger interrupted as Leo went to pay. “If you don’t mind, I’d love to have some company before the potential end of the world.”

Leo glanced around at the crowds of people around the bar. The students in sportswear were still intently watching the screens. There was a game of darts going in the back corner and a game of pool not far from it. A couple of men in the same flannel shirts and work jeans argued over a table of empty beer bottles and picked clean chicken wings. He looked back at the stranger and felt a prickle of heat on the back of his neck.

Leo shrugged. “Sure, I’m not gonna turn down free drinks.”

* * *

Leo’s head swirled with whiskey, his face hurt from grinning so much and he was filled with righteous indignation. “It’s an ice cream!” He bellowed. “It’s the same temperature as a melted milkshake and you’re supposed to drink it when it’s snowing out?!”

The stranger laughed, stumbling through his self defense. “It’s a tradition!” He said, “Eggnog is- it’s a candlenights classic, you Scrooge.”

“Bah, humbug,” Leo scoffed. He went to take another sip of his drink but the stranger reached over and plucked it from his hand.

The glass clinked as he shook it. “What’s that I hear? Is that the sound of ice, Leo? Ice in a drink during winter?! What blasphemy is this?”

“Alright, alright, drink your weird winter milkshake,” he gave in, “just leave my whiskey out of it.”

The man looked him up and down. It was an exaggerated gesture with his sunglasses still on, a full tilt of his head. Oh. If he’d been at a gay bar there would have been no doubt about what that look meant. Leo felt a small flutter in the pit of his stomach as the man smiled with all of his teeth.

“I’m not sure you can handle it,” the stranger purred. But he had already handed Leo’s glass back to him. Already brushed his spindly fingers, cold and wet, against the back of Leo’s hand. Already let the touch linger a moment longer than it should have.

Leo pulled back, but not quickly. He took a sip of his drink and tried to sort out the new mess of thoughts running through his head. His car was outside. He was now too drunk to drive home. He was not too drunk for other activities. The crowds around the bar didn’t seem to notice the two of them. The man’s hands were beautiful. Leo’s face burned. His insides were all muddled.

Leo pushed out his seat and carefully stood up. “I’ll be right back.”

The bathroom smelled like every dive bar bathroom he’d ever had the misfortune of visiting. The generic soap smell barely covered up the stink of piss and spilled beer. Leo stood hunched over the sink and splashed cold water over his face. He couldn’t remember the stranger’s name. He couldn’t remember ever introducing himself, though the man had called him Leo just minutes before. He didn’t think he was drunk enough to have forgotten that. The uneasy edge of his danger sense was working its way through his mind and he didn’t like it.

“Keep it together, Leo. Keep it together.”

The brown paper towels felt rough against his skin. They never did dry anything as much as you’d hope they would. Where had he seen this man before? How did they know each other?

Leo looked up into the pockmarked mirror at the dingy reflection of his own face. Creases and lines and a hairline that was just starting to really recede. At least a decade of grey. Still, it wasn’t bad for 47. Some guys really went for that craggy older gentleman look. And it wasn’t like this stranger was some young tender thing, either. Maybe they’d met at some other bar before? There was a gay bar in Charleston he’d been to a few times. What was it called? It didn’t matter. Maybe they’d seen each other there and Leo had just forgotten.

The door swung open and shut on creaking hinges and Leo froze. An enormous black coat in red sunglasses stood grinning at him, blocking his only escape route.

“Closed our tab,” the stranger said. Leo tried to place the accent. Was it an accent? “You know, there aren’t many timelines where this is the last night that earth exists. But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy each other’s company anyways.” The tilt of his grin left no question what he meant by “enjoying company.” Leo felt something hot uncoiling in his gut and he realized where he recognized the strange man from.

_The smell of latex and sweat. The familiar taste of cheap lube and a condom. The weight of a cock on his tongue. He swallows around it and feels long thin fingers tangle through his hair. Suppressing his gag reflex, taking it deeper, nose pressed against hot flesh and dark silver hair. The man pulls him back and leans down to kiss Leo’s spit slicked lips. And in the haze of want and desire Leo falls into a pair of impossible red eyes and a smile that makes his skin crawl with needy anticipation._

A dream? Yes, but also a prophecy. Leo hadn’t realized he could foresee anything other than monsters.

They’d never been introduced but Leo could remember the shape of his name in his mouth as he cried out against sweat soaked skin. He cleared his throat. “It’s Indrid, right?”

The look on the man’s face was nothing but pure, unbridled delight. Leo felt the urge to drop into a fighting stance. Why? There was nothing overtly sinister about his face. There was nothing malevolent in his happiness. Maybe it was knowing that Leo had somehow gotten it right when there was no reason he should have. “I don’t usually go for,” Indrid waved vaguely at the grimy bathroom, “this sort of thing. But my Winnebago is parked behind the gas station next door,” he cooed cooed, slipping back out through the door. “Don’t worry, you won’t need to knock.”

* * *

Leo Tarkesian bought a box of condoms and a bottle of lube from the gas station, but he hadn’t needed to. Indrid was as prepared as you’d expect an oracle to be.

Maybe he should have asked more questions. He probably should have at least made an effort to learn where Indrid’s powers came from and how they worked. But the moment the door closed behind him, Indrid had Leo pulled tight against him. Between the wiry strength of Indrid’s arms wrapped around his chest and the insistent nips and kisses the man trailed up his neck and over his jawline, Leo couldn’t bring himself to think of anything else.

Indrid’s fingers were cool against Leo’s face in the stuffy heat. He tilted his head up to kiss him with soft, slightly chapped lips. It felt familiar. Leo had craned his head up to kiss many other taller men. He knew the feeling of strong hands against his jaw. It made him weak in the knees at the same time as it made him cringe from the reminder of his height. Leo responded how he usually did in these situations and scooped Indrid up off the floor. He heard the man gasp as his feet left the ground, felt their chests pressed together, his fingers moving to dig in around Leo’s shoulders. Leo shifted to keep the other man off balance, moved his grip so Indrid would feel the tight cords of his muscles move beneath his hands. He cupped a hand against Indrid’s ass and squeezed.

Indrid laughed and it sounded like bells and breaking glass. Leo fumbled his grip and dropped him to his feet. The man pulled him along through the hall of the rv, twined together and stumbling past beige cabinets studded with smudged charcoal illustrations that Leo only half saw as he tripped towards what must have been the bedroom. Off balance and excited.

They fell together on the unmade bed, Leo’s thighs straddling Indrid’s bony hips and something just felt incredibly right about that. He leaned down and kissed the man, grinding his hips and savoring the feeling of Indrid’s moan on his mouth. He felt his cock stir and twitch in his jeans, felt something harden underneath him as he kept moving.

Indrid moved his arms underneath the hem of Leo’s shirt. Cold fingers ruffled the hair on his stomach, pressed into the softness and muscle underneath, roamed up and around to drag short fingernails across the warm expanse of his back. Leo pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed it away somewhere behind him. He moved to lean back into the touch but Indrid had followed him. His mouth traced along Leo’s collarbone. His fingers played with Leo’s nipples. Indrid bit down against the soft flesh where Leo’s neck met his shoulder. Leo cried out and tangled his fingers in Indrid’s silvery hair. He pulled him close, curling the man’s gawky frame into his own, pressing his still clothed dick into the slight give of the man’s stomach.

He was sure he could come like this, if given enough time. Leo was certain that if the end of the world didn’t stop him he would grind against Indrid until it all built beyond what he could handle and he came in his pants without even feeling this man’s skin on his dick. But that wasn’t what he had Seen.

Leo pulled back. He stood up, dragged Indrid along with him and then knelt on the dingy linoleum to undo the man’s belt buckle.

It was familiar. He went through the motions that he recognized because he had Seen them before. Usually for him that meant battle strategy and monster hunting and fighting for his life, but not this time. The deja vu gave him a strange spike of adrenaline, like somehow here on his knees he still held the fate of the world in his hands. Maybe he did, he thought to himself. He swirled his tongue around the head of Indrid’s dick. The universe was certainly complicated enough for it. Maybe the fate of the world did depend entirely on the substitute Chosen giving head to some skinny, spooky soothsayer in the back of an ugly rv on the eve of the second millennium. Maybe each stroke of his tongue and the precise way Indrid’s fingers tangled through his hair rippled out through the waters of fate, keeping the apocalypse at bay one sloppy stroke at a time. Weirder things had happened, surely.

He wasn’t surprised when Indrid pulled him up and kissed him before he could finish him off. He wasn’t surprised by the desperate hunger in his kiss or the gentle way he lay Leo back against the mattress or the tender strength in his hands as he began opening Leo up. He wasn’t even really surprised when the man stripped down and slid inside him with those red reflective glasses still perched on his face. Indrid buried his face against Leo’s neck and the cold edges of the frames dug into his jaw. He stayed that way for a long time, breathing heavily and making little noises that Leo couldn’t quite describe. In the strange calm of the moment, Leo felt that there was something off about the situation. He wondered if Indrid had come already and was a little flattered and a little disappointed. Something shifted inside of him, a pressure on his prostate, and Leo gasped.

He moved. Indrid whimpered and followed his rhythm. Relief rushed through Leo’s body quickly followed by steady pulses of pleasure and he focused his attention on that. Still, he could not shake the nagging doubt tugging at his mind. Whatever was inside him, in those moments of stillness just after Indrid had pushed into him, it hadn’t felt entirely human. And Leo could have sworn he’d felt it curl just slightly.

Leo was hot and sticky and his head felt like it was turning dangerously again. The space heaters were on full blast, droning lazily in the background. The yellow lights of the rv glistened on the sheen of sweat on Indrid’s body. The glasses winked at him, red and sinister. Leo reached down to where his dick was pressed between their sweaty stomachs, only half hard and leaking pre. He pumped his fist slowly, coaxing himself back to stiffness. His body clenched and Indrid’s hips stuttered with a soft groan. Leo kept his hand moving, working his shaft in slow steady strokes.

“How close are you?” He rasped in a voice that seemed much needier than he thought he was.

Indrid let out a soft breathy chuckle that ruffled his hair. His face twisted behind those glasses. “Close.”

Leo wrapped an arm around Indrid’s spindly form and pulled him in close. It wasn’t hard, the man was a bean pole. Leo whispered in his ear, “Then why don’t you fuck me like you really mean it?” It was a line he’d used before, to varying success. Cheesy. A bit of a gamble. It sounded like it belonged in a porn flick, but Leo liked it. It made him feel sexy and when it worked it really worked.

It worked. Indrid shuddered, shifted his angles and began pounding into Leo like it was his last night alive. Like he was a dead man and this was the last fuck he’d ever get. Like losing himself in Leo’s ass would prevent the apocalypse. Leo groaned and tightened his grip on his cock, pressure building quickly now that the other man was really working him over. Leo rolled into the waves of tension. He licked salt off Indrid’s neck and his tongue came back tingling. He dug his nails into Indrid’s back and let himself moan, deep and loud and shaking with the motion of Indrid’s thrusts.

He got carried away. Could have made it last longer if he’d just bothered to pace himself, but he hadn’t. He’d always liked heavy hitter matches better than endurance anyways. He came hot and hard, coating their stomachs with translucent white that smeared up their chests with the continued movement of Indrid’s thrusting. Leo’s eyes rolled back and he let himself relax back against the mattress, reveling in the sweet repetition and released pressure.

Indrid wound down eventually. Pulled out, removed the condom, cleaned the both of them off with a tank top from the floor. Leo lay in a sweet heavy haze, breathing in the smell of sweat and sex. Indrid lay down next to him, completely naked except for the sunglasses. Leo remembered a fairy tale he’d once read about a woman who wore a green ribbon around her neck to keep her head from falling off. He laughed softly to himself, wondered if the glasses kept his ears on somehow, or maybe his nose.

Indrid turned to him with a crooked grin. “What’s so funny?”

“Ah, it’s nothing,” Leo said. He wrapped his arms around Indrid’s cooling skin and pulled him closer.

It would have been the perfect time to ask a few clarifying questions, perhaps learn a thing or two from the strange man who could see the future. But it was too late at night and Leo was utterly spent. He was asleep before he could think to ask a single one.

* * *

He woke to the smell of breakfast and the beeping sound of a microwave timer.

“Good morning sleepyhead.” It took Leo a while to recognize the voice, lilting and singsong and entirely not what he was expecting to hear first thing in the morning. He’d had a dream, only that wasn’t entirely right. The dream had been weeks ago. Last night had been real.

Leo sat up. His head ached with a mild hangover. He was naked and definitely needed a shower. He looked around at the messy interior of the rv. “I guess the world didn’t end after all.”

“It would appear not,” Indrid replied. “Croissant, egg, and bacon?” Leo nodded. Indrid took the sandwich from the microwave, set it on a plate, and handed the whole thing to Leo. Leo watched him walk back to the kitchen area and pick another microwaveable sandwich out of a small array on the counter. Uneven pillars of frozen bread and protein leaned against each other for support.

Leo’s croissant was a little bit soggy and slightly too hot for him to eat but he ate it anyways. He hissed as the egg burned his tongue.

“It’s hot,” Indrid warned him half a moment too late. “I’m not hooked up to water right now so unfortunately we don’t have enough for a shower. If you’re interested, there’s a campground not far away that would have-“ Indrid froze mid sentence, head lolling back against his shoulders, mouth hanging open. Leo was on his feet and in a fighting stance before he even realized he was moving. He stood ready by Indrid’s side, but ready for what? This wasn’t a battle and he didn’t have his sword or even his clothes on him at the moment. He was glancing around, trying to find his pants somewhere on the floor when Indrid gasped and snapped back to attention. “Oh my.”

“Are you alright?” Leo asked.

Indrid blinked confused behind his glasses and looked down at Leo. “I’m fine,” he said. Leo could feel his breath on his face, shaky and uneven. “Unfortunately, something has come up. I have somewhere to be and I need to leave immediately.” Indrid frowned, “I had wanted to spend the morning with you.”

“I could come with you.” The words had left Leo’s mouth before he’d had time to think and he scrambled to justify them. “I’m good in a fight if that’s what you need. Better than you’d expect, really. Much better.”

Indrid looked surprised. It was an expression that didn’t fit well with his features. “I… can’t say I expected that, Leo Tarkesian. I’m flattered you would offer to protect me.”

Leo felt his stomach sink just the slightest bit. “But you’ve got to go alone. I get it. It’s probably for the best.” He began scooping his clothes off the floor and putting them on in a way that felt casual and definitely not awkward. He’d been kicked out of guys’ bedrooms and apartments before. He knew how to handle it gracefully.

“It’s a long way away,” Indrid explained, “I probably won’t be back in the area for months, maybe years.” He scooped the uneaten sandwiches back in the mini fridge and began haphazardly preparing the rv for a trip. “You have people to protect here in West Virginia, I can’t take you away from that.”

Leo froze with his arms halfway through his shirt. “You know?”

“I know many things,” Indrid answered cryptically, and Leo figured he wouldn’t get a better answer than that.

* * *

Everything seemed less believable in the light of day. The harsh winter sun bleached the sense out of the situation and Leo stood next to his car wondering how any of it could be real. How old was too old to be hooking up with mysterious strangers who knew more about you than they let on? He shook his head. 47 was definitely too old to be offering to go cross-country with a man he didn’t know for some mysterious purpose he also didn’t know after exactly five seconds of forethought. He had a store to take care of. And the gate creatures wouldn’t avoid Duck out of politeness just because Leo wasn’t around to protect him. Indrid was right, he had responsibilities.

The Winnebago pulled around in the parking lot. The window was rolled down, Indrid’s gawky frame leaned out as far as he could as he waved. Leo chuckled and waved back.

“It was nice to finally meet you, Leo” Indrid called as he pulled out onto the road. “I’ll see you next doomsday.”


End file.
